S. Africa’s Vuvuzela horns may soon invade other sports in England

LONDON - The Vuvuzela instrument, which making waves at the FIFA World Cup in South Africa, is likely to invade other sports in England such as cricket, tennis, motor racing and The Ascot in the days to come, and not many are seeing it as a welcome development or practical.

Supposedly invented to scare baboons away from remote African villages, the mass-produced vuvuzela makes the kind of noise you’d expect to hear if you had a hippo in a headlock.

Practised players can generate an awesome 127-decibels, a level humans rarely encounter outside war zones or Twisted Sister concerts.

All this from a simple plastic trumpet? The secret, apparently, is hitting the raucous “BAAARRRP” note - an operation that requires careful concentration and stupendous amounts of puff.

Trumpets and horses have been a useful combination since before Lord Raglan sounded the charge of the Light Brigade.

According to The Telegraph, fans, though, seemed enthusiastic, and several asked how the vuvus could be obtained. The answer, ominously, is very easily.

Sainsbury’s alone has imported 50,000 of them for its World Cup souvenir range, and the chain had sold 15,000 before a ball had been kicked.

Yet, if just one vuvu, in inexpert hands, can have this kind of effect, what would an entire stadium-full do?

The South African fans believe their nightmarish cacophony, will, as the Johannesburg Star put it “blow our opponents away, and turn other teams to jelly.”

This might not be an entirely fanciful diagnosis.

Medical experts warn that prolonged exposure to a vuvu onslaught could result in a range of medical problems ranging from temporary deafness to permanent damage to the nervous system. (ANI)